Yaaaaaaarrrrr! [UPDATED 3/12/08]

Back on shore leave, LinkBeard The Pirate brings us some more of the web’s worst links.

Before that, though, Trent emailed me (quite possibly) the awesomest pickup line of 2008.  Imagine, if you will, that you’re a single lady enjoying a tasty beverage at a local haunt.  You’re minding your own business, happy that (if only for ONE night) you’re not being hit on by some drunk dude.  As you happily sip your “Camel Toe” (or whatever fruity girl drink you’re enjoying), you notice a haggard-looking gentleman (complete with top hat hat and monocle) slowly approaching.  As he drunkenly stumbles upon you, Mr. Steel unleashes THIS gem:

“So hey, want to go do drugs with a stranger?”

Ah, Trent.  One word for ya, good buddy:

• A link from Trent, which makes me think this is the kind of girl he’s offering the above-mentioned line to… Perhaps he’ll get lucky after taking her to SKOOK-A-PALOOZA!
• Showing his softer side, LinkBeard sent this commercial especially for Happy Fun Ball-Danger.
• Now, before you can fully grasp the humor in this DOOM mod, you need to research “rickrolling”.  Yes, it’s a stupid internet meme, but it somehow makes me chuckle.
• 10 more reasons why I will never fully understand the appeal of “power metal”.
• When not pillaging and raping on the high seas, LinkBeard likes to make papercraft dolls.  As if being a seaman wasn’t ghey enough.
• For all the lonely fellas out there (I’m looking at you, every guy who reads this blog)… slow-motion jubblies. (Possibly NSFW)
• Finally, for Dayve… Garfield Minus Garfield.  It’s fucking frightening how batshit crazy John is without his cat around.  I Hate Mondays!!!! LOLOL!!!!!11111
• Proper baby care instructions.
• More proof that, no matter that women say, nice guys finish last.
• God bless the Akron Beacon Journal.  Without it, we’d never know about the greatest home invasion EVAR: